Hello From Tony
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AThe CD Liner Notes Written by
Dave Barry...................................
I have always prided myself on
my ability to recognize young musical talent. For example, back during
the late '60s I happened to be in a bar in Boston, and I took note of a
young man who was playing the guitar and singing. And do you know who that
young man was? I don't, either. But I'm confident he never became famous,
because he had virtually no talent. My point is that I recognized this
immediately.
I will tell you the name of a young man who DOES have talent: Tony Goldmark.
Tony's musical gift is no surprise, considering his lineage. His
dad, Joe Goldmark, is not only a terrific pedal-steel guitarist, but also
a world-class pizza chef. His mom, Kathi Kamen Goldmark, is a singer-songwriter-producer
who found the literary rock band, the Rock Bottom Remainders. I'm
proud to be a member of this band, along with Kathi, Stephen King, Roy Blount
Jr., Ridley Pearson, Amy Tan, Matt Groening and others. As a band, we suck.
But this is not Kathi's fault. SHE has talent, not to mention literally
dozens of wigs. And she has clearly passed her gift along to her son, Tony.
Tony not only sings the songs on this album, but he wrote some of them,
and they're wonderful. In fact, Tony wrote my favorite song on the album,
"I Know You're A Fish," which to my knowledge is the only work
by any songwriter in history to tackle the sensitive issue of flushing
a fish down a toilet. Tony also co-wrote, with his mom, "Adolescing,"
which contains two lines that perfectly sum up the entire complex sociobiological
process:
"My parents
used to be so smart...Now they are just dumb old farts."
There's also a deeply moving high tech blues song called "Got My Modem
Working," a refreshingly threatening version of the Barney song, and
much more. Tony sings these songs with enthusiasm and elan. (Actually,
I'm not sure what "elan" is. But I'm sure Tony has it.)
This is obviously a great album for kids. But it's also a great album for
grownups who want to hold on to -- or get back -- one of the most precious
gifts that nature gives us: immaturity. Buy it. Play it. Sing along with
it. And above all, don't forget to fart.
----
Dave Barry
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